


Coming Out

by Moll1357



Category: Phan, Phandom
Genre: AmazingDan - Freeform, Amazingphil - Freeform, Coming Out, Dan Howell - Freeform, Dan Lester - Freeform, Love, M/M, PINOF, Phandom - Freeform, Phanfiction, Phil Howell - Freeform, Phil Lester - Freeform, Romance, Shit storm, Shitstorm, YouTube, danisnotonfire - Freeform, philisnotonfire - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-26 12:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 4,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7574440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moll1357/pseuds/Moll1357
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phan finally announce their relationship to the world. This is the story of the reaction and the aftermath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the first fanfiction I ever wrote so it isn't great, so I've began rewriting it! It's much better so I'd appreciate it if you could read it xox

Dan clicked the upload button... there it was done, another video uploaded onto his Youtube channel. Except this one was different. He was just unsure as to how his fans would react. Sure some would be happy, overjoyed even, but others were bound to start a massive shit storm. Phil was waiting for him in the other room, he was going to sit and support him as all the trouble kicked off. They were both going to lose some fans for this but it needed to be done.

 

This video was about Dan and Phil's relationship. Finally announcing to the world that they had been dating for the past 6 years and loved each other deeply. They had kept it a secret for so long because of all the trouble it would cause and all the hate they would get. Their fans were also putting so much pressure on them to come out it was making them both have so many sleepless nights. They wanted their lives back, and if that meant coming out as a couple and getting through the shit storm then it had to be done, the fans wouldn't leave them alone until then.

 

Dan got up and went through to the living room where Phil was sat on the couch waiting for him. As Dan opened the door Phil was looking at him and Dan could see the concern but also fear in his gorgeous blue eyes. He joined him on the sofa, settling down into his sofa crease with Phil snuggled up close to him just as his phone started buzzing. This was it, how was everyone going to react? He was so scared and clung onto Phil for all he was worth, and Phil did the same right back.

 

They both decided to turn their phones off and watch some TV, anything really, just to pass the time, to try and get their minds of what was happening on the internet right now. They would check their phones tomorrow right?

 

During this neither of them said a word to each other, they didn't need to. They just sat with each other, silently understand exactly how the other was feeling and exactly what they were thinking. At around 1am Phil lifted his head from Dan's shoulder and simply said

 

"Bedtime?"

 

Dan nodded and took Phil's hand as they went into the Dan's room and curled up on his bed together. They lay there, on his bed, for a while just thinking about what the next day might bring. Soon Phil began to feel his eyes grow heavy and knew he wouldn't be able to stay awake much longer. He looked up at Dan, whispered goodnight and lightly brushed his lips against the younger boy's. Dan kissed him back but it was more of a comfort kiss, not sexual like many other kisses they had shared while lying in this very bed. Phil turned over and felt his eyes close and drifted off into a deep sleep, knowing Dan would still be awake through most of the night.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry this chapter is a bit short but they will get longer and better as I more I promise! I've already written 11 chapters so I really mean this.

Dan opened his eyes, his vision all blurry. He went to stretch his limbs but found himself trapped, wrapped up in Phil's arms. Feeling Dan move, Phil began to wake as well and mumbled what was meant to be good morning but came out as nonsense. Both boys seemed to remember at the same time what they had done yesterday and were suddenly hyper aware of everything going on around them, nervous to find out what their fans reaction would be.

 

Dan sat up and swung his legs out of the bed and stared at his phone on the table next to him. Phil sat up, looked at Dan and simply said "You ready?" Phil had been pretty calm about this coming out thing before but now that they were so close to finding out how everyone would react he was beginning to get that funny feeling in the pit of his stomach like this wasn't going to go well, but surely it would turn out fine right?

 

Dan reached forward, picked up his phone and turned it on. It began to vibrate violently in his hand and beep uncontrollably as he received all the notifications from throughout the night.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry it's so short. It WILL get better.

At first the reaction was as expected. There were people screaming through there screams about how they were right and all the stuff about domestic Phan you always see around. There were others, the homophobes, who sent so much hate it was unreal. It was difficult not to take to heart but he had to do his best.

Then there were the fans who were genuinely supportive. The ones telling him how much courage it must have taken to come out like that. The ones saying they supported him, no matter his sexuality.

He needed to remember people like that existed, and just try to forget about the others.

He turned to Phil, to see his reaction. He wasn't coping as well as Dan was... Silent tears were rolling down his cheeks.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short, I don't get much time to write these things.

He reached out, putting his hand on Phil's shoulder. Then realised it wasn't enough and shuffled across so he could wrap his arms around him. Thoughts were racing through Dan's mind and every now and then he could feel Phil shudder as he cried.

They both said nothing for what felt like forever.

"Should we have told everyone Dan?" Phil finally muttered, barely audible.   
"What's done is done" he replied. They continued to sit there until Dan's stomach rumbled. Without the need for words they decided to go through to the kitchen and get breakfast.

It was going to be a long day.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try and write more often but I can't make any promises.

Phil hardly touched his breakfast at all, just pushing the cornflakes around in the milk. Dan finished his breakfast and watched his boyfriend. He was worried about him, seriously worried.

He needed to do something to lift his spirits. But what?!

Phil's free hand was lying limply on the breakfast bar, all his motivation and happiness gone. Dan gently put his hand on top of Phil's and as Phil looked up at him, he sad puppy eyes pleading, dan said  
"Come on, I'm taking you out for the day" Phil attempted to smile and got up to get ready. Dan waited for a minute before getting up as well and going to get ready.

They met by the front door 10 minutes later and Dan asked "Ready?" as he kissed his boyfriend's cheek.  
Phil's reply was simple, he said "Where are we going?" Dan looked him dead in the eye and said  
"You'll have to wait and see, boo"


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting better....

Dan grabbed Phil's hand as they walked through the front door. The ice cold wind hit them instantly and Phil snuggled further into his coat. They began walking down the street, Dan slightly ahead as he knew where they were heading. Phil didn't argue.

Every now and again Phil would question where they were going but Dan always refused to tell him. They rounded the corner, and the train station came into view. The memory of travelling to meet Phil on the train from way back in 2009 popped into Dan's head, as it always did every time he saw a train and he smiled. Phil saw the smile on his face and knew not to worry.

Dan went to buy the tickets while Phil sat on a bench and waited for his boyfriend to return, he didn't go with him as Dan didn't want him finding out where they were going. Dan returned, as kissed Phil's cheek as he sat down next to him and laced his arm over the back of the seat. 

"Excited?" Dan asked a nervous looking Phil.

"Yeah, I just don't want to run into any fans while we're at where ever you're taking us."

"Don't worry, I'm sure we won't"


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's getting better I promise. There's going to be some major drama soon.

The train arrived at the station and Dan took hold of Phil's hand as they walked towards the door. Dan pressed the button and waited for the red train doors so slide open as he looked around at the people around him. Some people were giving them weird looks, they were holding hands. It may well be 2015 already but a lot of the population was still very homophobic. He was used to it, people had been giving him weird looks his entire life. He looked past them and he eyes scanned the rest of the people.

Good, no fans around. 

They stepped onto the train and quickly found two seats, out of the way towards the back of the carriage. Dan sat next to the window so Phil couldn't make any guesses about where they were going as he looked out the window. Phil pushed himself up against Dan and rested his head on his shoulder as they train began to pull away from the station. 

Phil clearly hadn't slept well last night as the gently rhythm of the train put him to sleep, head still resting on Dan's shoulder. Dan began to daydream, as he stared out the window, passing green field, grey and dirty industrial estates and lively stations full of people going to work. Eventually, Dan began to fall asleep too, fingers still laced with Phil's.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Very soon, the shit storm shall begin.

As the train pulled into it's final stop, a voice came over the speakers, jolting both boys awake.

"We have arrived in Nottingham, thank you for travelling with us today and please remember all of your belongings. Thank you."

A slightly disorientated Dan pushed Phil from his seat and off the train, onto the platform at Nottingham train station. It might not be the poshest place in the world, but it was simple and fun. There was a small risk of running into some fans, but if they stayed away from certain shops then they should be fine.

Phil obviously now knew where they were now, and did look a little nervous as Nottingham can be very busy at times, which they'd discovered the hard way when they were doing this leg of their book tour here. Dan's mind quickly went through all the ideas for things to do; Nottingham Eye, Nottingham Castle, Victoria Shopping Center, The Caves, Forbidden Planet, Robin Hood, the market.

Dan took hold of Phil's hand again and started walking towards the market square, where the Nottingham Eye is at this time of year. Once they got there, they managed to get a pod to themselves as not many people wanted to go sightseeing at 11 in the morning. Once they reached the top, the pod stopped and they could see out over Nottingham as Dan and Phil just sat there holding hands, with Phil's head resting on Dan's shoulder.

It felt like nothing else mattered, and they were able to forget about this shit storm for a short while.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Either the next chapter or the one after will have the shit storm in it so just wait.

The boys spent the rest of the day going from shop to shop, and finally finishing off at Nottingham castle. They weren't really interested in any of the history but the gardens were nice and peaceful. They walked hand in hand together, silently, until they were told it was time to leave, the castle was closed for the night. Even though they were a little disappointed the boys apologized politely and made their way out and towards the train station again. Back to London it was.Once again, Phil fell asleep on Dan's shoulder as the train traveled along the polished tracks. Dan couldn't help but let his mind wander.

What were they going home to? What would their parents think? He was sure they would still love him anyway but there was still doubts. What were the fans saying about them? How many fans had they lost? How long would all this last? Today had been good, but it was only one day, they couldn't avoid the outside world forever. After all, their job was to be all of the internet. They were some of the biggest youtubers that existed, they couldn't just vanish into thin air.

The train pulled into the station and they both got off, and began the short walk back to the apartment. Opening the door, the sweet, familiar smell of home hit them and they suddenly realised how tired they were. Without really saying anything they crawled into Phil's bed and were asleep in each others arms within minutes.

They'd survived another day.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I told you it would get better.

Phil was awake first. He went into the kitchen to go and make some cereal and coffee while Dan slept. This was the first time he was alone with his thoughts since they'd announced to the world that they loved each other, and he was expecting it to get rough. 

First, he thought of Dan. The way his hair went curly when it got wet, hobbit hair the fans called it. The way he smiles when its just them, no camera, no fans, just them on their own and all the witty sarcastic remarks meant to jokingly tease Phil but instead just melted his heart. He loved this man and had done ever since they first met. When they started talking Phil knew he was special but the minute they met in person way back in 2009, he realised just how special he was. He thought of all the special moments they'd shared together over the years; moving in together, starting a radio show, now a book and a tour! There lives got more and more exciting as they went on! Of course the fans didn't see most of the work that went into all these things, the months of planning, seeing one another get stressed and having to calm them down and look after them. But also all the joking and good times behind the scenes. Those memories belonged to Dan and to Phil and them only. No one could take that away. 

Then, he thought of their families. They must be worried sick right now. They were always aware of what the boys were doing and watching their videos. They'd known about them dating for a while now but they also knew how the fans would react if/when they were told. They'd kept their phones off for 2 days now, their families must be getting worried. Phil couldn't help but wonder how worried. Maybe when Dan woke up he would convince him to ring their families just to tell them they were fine and not to worry. Yes, he would do that. Dan had looked after he so much recently.

Finally, he thought of the fans and the shit storm that was probably destroying the phandom right this second. He loved his fans, he was so thankful, he wouldn't be where he is now without them. At first glance the phandom did seem quite accepting, there were a lot of people in the LGBTQ+ community, and a lot of LGBTQ+ supporters, but some of those also liked to create drama. Even though that supported the fact they were a couple might turn against them, hating the fact they the boys had hidden it from them for so long, and deliberately lied to them about it. And then there were those who were only a fan of Dan. Phil wasn't stupid, he knew those people existed, sometimes they weren't so obvious about it. They would be polite to Phil but spend all their time talking to Dan. Other times they were just plain rude, pushing Phil out of pictures because they only wanted pictures with Dan. Plus Dan had so many more subscribers than he did. It didn't take a genius to work it out. But he always had Dan. It always came back to Dan. 

He was shocked out of his mind and back into the real world when Dan appeared and put his arms around his waist, their noses touching. 

"Good morning, Philly." Dan said as he started to yawn. God he was so adorable but hot at the same time when he'd just woken up. 

"Dan, I've been thinking..." Phil began to say but was interrupted by a sleeping Dan.

"Woa, let me have my coffee first before you start throwing ideas at me, its only lunchtime, its too early for thinking!" 

Well that was the end of that, for now. Phil would try again later, try to get Dan to turn their phones back on and face the fall out.

*****

They spent the rest of the day re-watching 'Attack on Titan', singing along to the theme tune whenever it came on and screaming "MIKASAAAA" then laughing and pecking the other's cheek. It was a good day, Dan seemed to be enjoying himself and Phil very nearly did except he couldn't get all these ideas off his mind. They were always there. Whether he was laughing with Dan, cuddling with Dan, getting intimate with Dan, they were always on the back of his mind. He decided he'd waiting long enough to tell Dan.

"Dan..." Phil began as Dan played with his hair whilst they lay, panting in bed together.

"Yes babe?"

Like a dam being burst, Phil's emotions and problems surged through out, before he had chance to put together a well reasoned argument.

"We need to turn our phones on. I - I need to ring my parents! What are we going to tell the fans now? What are we doing with our lives? Where do we go from here? I need to tell my parents I'm okay and -"

"Phil, shush, it's alright. Calm down." Dan wrapped his arms tight around Phil and they both lay silently for a minute. Phil waiting to see what Dan would do and Dan trying to think what was best for himself and Phil. 

"Okay, we'll turn them on." And that was it. That was all he said. The matter was decided.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And so it begins...

They both had their eyes closed and their free hands clasped together as their phones began to vibrate violently. After a few minutes Dan sighed and gave Phil's hand a squeeze. They both opened their eyes. The notifications were still flying in, it was impossible to see each individual message. All you could see was a flood of Youtube, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram and the occasional texts and missed calls from friends and family. They checked their messages from friends and families and gave their parents a quick call to let them know they were fine. Their parents were so happy to hear from them, but so worried as well. At first they bombarded them with questions but quickly realised they needed to take their time talking about it and let them explain what they'd been doing since they'd announced to the world they were a couple. After a few minutes the call ended as they said they really needed to send the fans a message, after all it had been 2 weeks since they'd gone on the internet, let alone spoken to any fans. 

After a quick discussion they decided to check the comments on the Youtube video they'd uploaded when they came out. Dan grabbed his laptop off the table and quickly opened up the comments. 

"OMG I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW I CANT RN"

"Seriously?! After all these years, denying that you're gay?! You turn out to be a couple?! I don't know about you guys but I'm not going to be a fan of 2 homos that lie"

"I'm so happy that they're actually a couple but my parents won't let me watch them anymore :'( I'll have to go and join a new straight fandom :( "

"Ewwww you guys are literally disgusting you should be ashamed of yourself"

"#PHANISREAL OMFGOMFGOMFG IVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!!!1!!"

"I've never been more disappointed in my life. I will never watch you disgusting homos ever again. I wish I could forget that I ever liked you"

Of course there were a lot of positive comments but the only ones that Dan and Phil seemed to take note of was the negative ones. Dan had spent years ignoring all the negative comments he'd received, he'd even made a video making fun of some negative comments, but this was hitting too close to home. As for Phil, he'd always been insecure about who he was as a person. He had always been slightly different to everyone else and people made a lot of mean comments when he was little. Phil was just beginning to accept who he was as a person since he started living with Dan but now, with all these comments, he wasn't sure how much longer that self-confidence would last.

"It's okay. It's okay" Phil mumbled to himself, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself rather than comfort Dan. 

"Look, these ones are super positive!" Dan said, but not as enthusiastically as he should have. He looked briefly at Phil, saw his eyes scanning the screen as he read comment after comment. The longer he looked at him, the more he saw that bright spark in his eyes slowly die. You wouldn't have noticed unless you knew to look for it, but Dan knew, whenever he looked at Phil he always looked for the spark in his eyes, it was one of the many things he loved about this dorky ray of sunshine. But right now, that spark was disappearing. 

One by one they changed website and checked out all their social media accounts. Combined they'd lost 600,000 subscribers, 45,000 followers on twitter and 30,000 followers on Instagram. But that was okay, they could cope with that. They'd been careful to make a backup plan in case their Youtube career took a nose dive after they announced they were a couple (Phil would get a job doing something to do with video editing, maybe advertising or something like that, and Dan could always go back to uni and get a degree in something - not law, he insisted - or get a small job at a coffee shop maybe) but they wouldn't need that plan now, the fallout wasn't as bad as they anticipated. Yet.

A few of there friends knew already but some of the more distant ones didn't. They decided to see what messages they'd sent them.

"Omg guys, are you okay??? I'm so proud of you for actually telling everyone!! Big love xxx" That was Louise, she was such a lovely person. She'd known about them since she'd become friends with them, she was just the sort of person you trusted with your life as soon as you met her. 

"Guyyyyyyyyyyyys! You did it!!! I totally ship you two btw ;* xox" Tyler Oakley is such a queen! Of course he'd be supportive, being the Queen of the Gays! 

All the messages from their friends were along those sort of lines, all of them supporting and loving. After sitting in silence for around 45 minutes, just reading all the messages and comments, they both just sat back and look at each other. 

Dan's face was a picture of worry. He was scared for himself, what would happen to his career? He was scared for Phil, would Phil be able to cope with all this hate? And what would happen to his career too? He was scared for everything they'd worked for, the book, the tour, the radio show. Would anyone care about those things anymore, all the work they'd put into them or would they change what they thought of them just because of their sexuality?

Phil's face was a little sad, but that sparkle in his eyes was beginning to creep back. He was upset that they'd lost some of the support they'd had before, and he was sure they were going to lose more as time went on and more people found out but it had turned out to be better than he'd originally thought. Now his main concern was Dan, he had wanted to look after his little Danny as much as possible during this but it had just been Dan looking after him. He felt it was his turn now. 

"That wasn't so bad I guess... Wanna go and eat some of my secret stash of sweets?"

"Babe, it isn't secret. Who do you think keeps refilling it for you?"

"The sweet fairy?"

And just like that, they both knew everything was going to be okay.


End file.
